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CLEVELAND SKYLINE

CLEVELAND SKYLINE
BORN HERE RAISED HERE AND MOST LIKELY WILL PASS AWAY AND BE BURIED HERE AS WELL.

San Francisco Skyline

San Francisco Skyline
This is a Tip of The Hat to Sandee, my Co-Author and blog wizard.

I've been in my own boat sitting out in this water looking at this view. Awesome!-Sandee.

MY HAMMERED DULCIMER

MY HAMMERED DULCIMER
There are various Hammered Dulcimer postings from YouTube of different tunes, and NO I AM NOT PLAYING ANY OF THESE TUNES.Maybe some day when I have the equipment to do so.I have included a link to my You Tube Channel.I invite you to go and watch any of my videos on the site also check out some of the different channels I subscribe to.

ABOUT THE HAMMERED DULCIMER

The hammered dulcimer is an ancient trapezoidal musical instrument played by striking the strings with wooden hammers.

Originating in the Middle East about 2000 years ago, English soldiers brought the instrument back to England after their failed attempt to conquer Persia during the Crusades about 1000 years ago. Dulcimers have many names in many lands: santur in the Middle East, yang q'in in China, hackbrett in Austria, zither in Germany, and cymbalom in Hungary. The name "dulcimer" is derived from Latin, meaning "sweet sound". Hammered dulcimers were popular in England during the reign of James I, when the Bible was translated into English as the King James Bible. The dulcimer was mentioned in the Book of Daniel 3:5 among other instruments "..the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, dulcimer, and all kinds of music..." The dulcimer was later mechanized to become what we now know as the harpsichord which later evolved in the piano.

THE BLOG ROLLS.

IN ORDER TO MAKE THIS PAGE LOAD EASIER I MOVED THE BLOG ROLLS TO A SEPARATE BLOG, THE BLOG ROLLS CAN BE FOUND HERE AT G.C.R.S. BLOGROLLS.

A good thought

A good thought

The Officer Down Memorial

The Officer Down Memorial
Click the Badge to go to the site.

THE SERENITY PRAYER

THE SERENITY PRAYER
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen. - Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

WHEN I'M HAVING A BAD DAY.

WHEN I'M HAVING A BAD DAY.
WHEN EVERYTHING IS JUST TOO MUCH, I WILL BE HIDING, PLAYING MY GAMES AND STAYING IN MY OWN LITTLE WORLD.

HEY MIKEY,THIS MEANS YOU!!

IF IT IS NOT BROKEN DO NOT TRY TO FIX IT MIKEY, YOU GOOF! - SIGNED ME

Mike - Take the word DELETE out of your vocabulary. Big hug... Sandee

NATIONAL SUICIDE PROVENTION LIFELINE

With Help Comes Hope

Veterans Hotline & Online Chat
Are you a veteran in emotional distress? Please call 1-800-273-TALK and press 1 to be routed to the Veterans Suicide Prevention Hotline.
OR Veterans chat live with a counselor.


Are you in crisis? Please call 1-800-273-TALK
Are you feeling desperate, alone or hopeless? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a free, 24-hour hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Your call will be routed to the nearest crisis center to you.

I URGE ANYONE THAT NEEDS TO MAKE THIS CALL TO PLEASE DO SO.YOU ARE A PRECIOUS HUMAN BEING,YOU ARE SOMEONE'S LOVED ONE. GOD KNOWS WE ALL GO THROUGH A CRISIS AND NEED THE HELP.PLEASE CHOOSE LIFE!

I URGE ANYONE THAT NEEDS TO MAKE THIS CALL TO PLEASE DO SO.YOU ARE A PRECIOUS HUMAN BEING,YOU ARE SOMEONE'S LOVED ONE. GOD KNOWS WE ALL GO THROUGH A CRISIS AND NEED THE HELP. PLEASE CHOOSE LIFE.

THIS IS HERE TO REMIND ME AS WELL AS EVERYONE ELSE THAT LIFE IS IMPORTANT.

Blog Changes

Since I have decided to shut down Both Mike's Place and Loonytoon Central, Music Monday/Mondays Music Moves Me, Thursdays Tune, 5 On Friday, Feline Friday and the Google Doodles will now all be here.

I SEE YOU!!!

Sign by Danasoft - Get Your Sign

The Blogger's Prayer

Lord help me to learn to spell without spellcheck, manage to visit all that visit me, and post regularly - all in 5 minutes a day, so that I can clean house and take care of my family. Help me to not look at every occurrence in my life as a blog post, and to quit taking pictures of weird things to share as well. Please Lord, help me to stop talking about my blog friends as though they are next door neighbors or someone I have known all of my life. And help me dear Lord, to think of something witty and wise to post tomorrow.


IF YOU WANT TO SHARE ANY POSTINGS

ANYONE IS WELCOME TO TAKE THE STUFF POSTED HERE TO SHARE ON YOUR SITE. ALL I ASK IS A TIP OF THE HAT AND A LINK BACK. UNLESS I SAY HANDS OFF THIS POSTING!!!

welcome to Golch Central

Thank you for stopping by my little corner of the blogosphere.Please feel free to leave a comment,Be warned ANY ATTACK COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED,AS WELL AS SPAMMING ONES!!

Monday, October 18, 2010

What I Learned Last Year By C.C.


Last year (2009), was a tumultuous year for me which included spending about 76 days in the hospital with 64 of them during 2 psychiatric hospitalizations for depression.  With that many days, one gets a very skewed sense of life. I’ve become a little institutionalized. These were some of my thoughts:

1) Staff says that I need to take a shower and change my clothes. I think, it takes too much energy and no one is going to care anyway. (just because it was four days) :)
2) Staff says that I need to eat more. I think, I’ve gained 50 pounds over the past year.
3) Staff says that I’m compulsive, I say that I am just neat and tidy.
4) Staff says that they are going to give me a staff badge. I think, is it because I know most of their job duties, help them remember things, and know their work schedules.
5) Staff says that I have insomnia. I say, I like looking at the bright moon and waiting for dawn to break.
6) I say that I really need to be in the hospital, my therapist vigorously shakes his head “yes.” I think "pretty good indication that I will be admitted)
7) My psychologist says that I go days without smiling. I learned that it was true as my therapist said, “days, weeks, months.”
8) It is good to know the rules and regulations because you can make staff angry and like it. :) (also that I've been there too long)
9) Some staff know how to do considerate 30 minute bed check and others haven’t a clue!!
10) I learned that I can yell at staff and kick a door open and not get sent to the locked unit. In fact, they were happy that I found my anger.
11) I know that meals are at 8am, noon, and 5pm.
12) I know that juice only comes in little square-rounded plastic containers.
13) I learned that a 5:30 am fire alarm going off make for very grumpy people.
14) I know that there are helpful staff and those you just want to hit upside their head.
15) I learned that writing a complaint sometimes ends up with no action to immediate action.
16) I feel good that housekeeping and the cafeteria staff remember my name and preferences. I think, I’ve been here too many days.
17) I still wonder why housekeeping sometimes leaves only leaves one bathmat and five wash cloths.
18) I learned that you can sprain you ankle on a cherry tomato.
19) I learned that you can choke on dry salmon and look up to find six charge nurses staring at you.
20) I learned that it is okay not to like everyone.
21) I learned that I can really cuss someone out!
22) I found that screaming even if it is into a pillow a great way to release anger.
23) I discovered my anger…rage.
24) I yelled at my therapist and he raised his voice in a heated discussion for the first time. To my surprise, he was happy as I found my anger and nothing bad happened and he still wanted to work with me.
25) When my psychiatrist, psychologist and therapist all say that I will know when it is time to leave. I think, “I don’t want that responsibility. I want to blame you for whatever decision you make.” Deep down I know they are right.
26) I thought that a man coming off of heroin after 8 years needs more supervision, three days later staff put him in the locked unit.
27) I learned that there is a hierarchy of stigma within patients with mental health issues. I try to educate and why people with schizophrenia and DID act the way they do. I have some success in some changing their perspective.
28) I learned that safety doesn’t always come from the outside, but from the inside knowing that you can take care of yourself.
29) I learned that if you try to look at the breaks on the bed to make sure that help is around just in case you get stuck between the wall and the bed. Staff will also laugh at you before helping you! :)
30) I learned that there are some smokers that are accommodating for non-smokers. We played which way is the wind blowing and musical chairs just for me.
31) I embraced my new identies of “fag hag” and that I’m a “gay man.” I now support gay rights.
32) I learned that it is fun to sing Broadway show tunes with a bunch of men who are gay. And, that it is “so gay” to be doing that and that others could hear everything that we sang.
33) I learned that I like to reach out to those who are “outcasts” or "disenfranchized." Examples:  Such as an over six feet tall man with a blonde ponytail and had been in state prison for 17 years and just his presence intimidated others. We became very good friends and still keep in touch.
34) I learned that coffee can be so bad that I begin to use half and half. Once home while look for the half and half, my husband reminds me that I drink my coffee black!!
35) I learned that having a coffee addict for a therapist has its advantages, good coffee three times a week for sessions.
36) I am beginning to like myself.
37) I know that I have some hard work ahead of me and the hospitalization was well worth it as I feel the best that I have in a long time.
38) I learned that I can miss an entire Nordstrom sale and survive.
39) I learned that having a wedding anniversary, doesn’t matter where you are just that you are together.
40) I learned that absence does make the heart grow fonder.


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10 comments:

Wanda's Wings said...

You have learned a lot. It been that kind of year for me too.

Mike Golch said...

Wanda's Wings,this posting was don by Clueless,and yes it has been that kind of year for me as well.

Syd said...

Good stuff. Thanks to Clueless for posting this. I think that there are many on this list that I identify with.

Dori said...

There is so much wisdom in that post!

Sandee said...

You have indeed learned a lot. I haven't a clue about depression so I can only take you and Mike's word for what it's like.

Have a terrific day. :)

Annesphamily said...

I can continue to pray. I am good at it when it comes to everyone I know. I never tire of it and I enjoyed reading this post.Life can be so difficult I think good care and treatment along with God make a great team! Thanks for sharing. Anne

Lin said...

I like the one about it's okay not to like everyone. I also think it is okay if everyone doesn't like you back. I think that is VERY healthy to accept that. :) I do.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

It's fun to learn. It is also a necessity of life. Although Niebuhr once observed: "How can these old pastors seem so wise when they've not read a new book in 40 years?"

Mike Golch said...

Lin,you are absolutly right.

Nick,Life is the best teacher at times.it make us wise,provided we learn from the lessons.

Clueless said...

Thank you, Mike!! It is quite an honor to have the opportunity to post on your blog. I had no idea until this morning that it was posted.

Wanda,

Yes, I know that it has been a really difficult year for you. Praying for you.


Syd,

I'm glad that you were able to identify with it...hopefully the fun stuff also.

Sandee,
Thanks...I'm really glad that you don't know what depression is like first hand.

Anne,
Without God, I don't think I would have been able to get through. My saying is, "God, I know that it is through trials that you build character. But, if it keeps going like this I am going to become a character...and if I have a choice can I be Snoopy!"

Lin,
Wise words.

Nick, I agree with Mike...life is the best teacher.

Thank you everyone for commenting.

Blessings,
CC aka ClinicallyClueless

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