Welcome to my blog. I post things that I feel must be said. I will post Prayer Requests when I find them. I will try to do my best to be a good blogger and will try to not step on too many toes. May God bless all that visit with me.THE BLOG IS THE SAME ONLY THE NAME WAS CHANGED,TO PROTECT THE SILLINESS! (With a Nod To Dragnet)
CLEVELAND SKYLINE
BORN HERE RAISED HERE AND MOST LIKELY WILL PASS AWAY AND BE BURIED HERE AS WELL.
San Francisco Skyline
I've been in my own boat sitting out in this water looking at this view. Awesome!-Sandee. This is a Tip of The Hat to Sandee, my Co-Author and blog wizard.
Showing posts with label Silly Saturday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Silly Saturday. Show all posts
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Saturday, September 03, 2011
Silly Saturday DA Bears.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Silly Saturday
The Newest Commandment
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In honor of Governor Schwarzenegger, a new commandment has been added to the Bible.
Be sure to write this one in underneath the other ten:
"Thou Shalt Not Sharest Thy Rod With Thy Staff."
with a tip of the Hat to Sandee,from whom I swiped this.
Be sure to write this one in underneath the other ten:
"Thou Shalt Not Sharest Thy Rod With Thy Staff."
with a tip of the Hat to Sandee,from whom I swiped this.
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Silly Saturday
Sorry, but you have reached...
The End of the Internet.
EndOfTheInternet.com
That's right, this is the Final Directory on the very Last Webserver on the Entire Internet!
(In case you were wondering, the end of the Internet is located in the heart of Dallas, Texas, U.S.A.)
That's right, this is the Final Directory on the very Last Webserver on the Entire Internet!
(In case you were wondering, the end of the Internet is located in the heart of Dallas, Texas, U.S.A.)
You can't go any further from here.
YOU MUST NOW START BACK AT THE VERY BEGINNING!
To see what is at the VERY beginning of the Internet, refer just *one*
friend to the page below and you will be automatically taken to the
beginning of the Internet! (You are going to LOVE this :-)
friend to the page below and you will be automatically taken to the
beginning of the Internet! (You are going to LOVE this :-)
If you have further questions, please contact your system administrator.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Silly Saturday
The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter Montana.
1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are horses, cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-90 and I-94 go east and west, I-15 goes north and south. Pick one.
4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have quarter-million dollar, air conditioned tractors that we drive three weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat Walleye & Rainbow Trout. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and A-1.
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. High School Football is as important here as the Vikings and the Seattle Seahawks and a dang site more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards ---- it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try Montana State or the University of Montana. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.
16. We have more folks per capita in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Montana." If you do, you'll likely get your butt kicked.
swiped from Sandee,Here's a Big Time Tip of the hat you you.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
silly Saturday
every once and a while something pops up in my head and won't go away.this is one of those.I hope you enjoy the comedy of it.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Saturday, March 05, 2011
Silly Saturday
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
a good dog
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Silly Saturday
Charlie’s wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned.
She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.
About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament. They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts. Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room.
The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.). Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, “Well, Doctor, I’ll bet you’ve never seen anything like this before.”
The Doctor replied, “Actually, I’ve seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed.”
With my that's to the DA Dude go visit him Here
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Silly Saturday
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3.. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4 esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6.. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
I especially like Item number 2
with a Big Time Tip of the Hat to Mystery Man Please go HERE for a visit.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3.. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4 esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6.. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
I especially like Item number 2
with a Big Time Tip of the Hat to Mystery Man Please go HERE for a visit.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Saturday, December 04, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Silly Saturday
BAD Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I
may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I
may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Saturday, November 06, 2010
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